My Melt Down
I remember the day my world fell apart in the face of new pedagogy in mathematics. I was working in a rural school division in Saskatchewan and was in the middle of a Cognitive Coaching workshop with 50 people that I did not know… and the facilitator asked for a volunteer to model a problem solving conversation.
After teaching for 14 years I had reached a point where I felt I did not know anything about teaching and learning. I ended up being a crumbled mess on the floor of that workshop – embarrassed at my emotional outburst and doubting my ability to teach, or facilitate, or guide, or whatever it was I was supposed to be doing.
That was six years ago.
So, how did I get past the Earth shaking moment when I lost my ability to believe I could meet the many challenges that I was facing?
My Journey
- Professional Learning – I went to a math workshop where the facilitator gave me a ‘living example’ and helped me to understand what some of the language really meant, including Constructing knowledge, formative assessment, and inquiry. I finally understood that these aren’t things I DO in my classroom, rather they are a way of being; a way for my students and I to interact in order for all of us to move forward – not just me moving forward with my well designed and superbly crafted lesson plans of the past.
- Professional Community of Learners – As Physics teachers, we formed a community of learners. There were 14 of us that were awarded a McDowell Research Grant. We spent time planning, collaborating, critiquing, and reflecting together. These discussions gave me my ‘Living Examples’ and helped me to figure out how my students and I were to interact with the curriculum so that we could all explore the teaching and learning of science and mathematics… together.
So here I am six years later, and to be honest what I know now is not necessarily more than what I knew in the past – in fact, I know even more about how much I don’t know. But I no longer feel powerless. I know that there are people I can learn from and learn with. That has made all the difference.